Wisdom Teeth Humor

Growing up, I don’t remember much laughter at home.  It’s not that we weren’t happy, it’s just that everything tended to be “nice” rather than boisterous.  Boisterous is the only way to laugh, as far as I’m concerned.  I don’t readily remember seeing my mom give a real belly laugh, although I have pictures as evidence that she did.  She was loving, kind, enjoyed fun, but not really a laughter.  I am sure she never spit-out anything because she was laughing too hard.

We took great camping vacations, my mom did crafts with us, we’d go feed the ducks, we had a sweet little dog, fun birthday parties.  We were totally and completely loved. Lots of smiles and hugs; giggling, just not so much laughter.  Then during my teenage years, my mom became very, seriously depressed and no one did anything about it; I certainly didn’t realize it at the time, but by extension and living with her, I became pretty depressed too.

I remember being brooding, harsh and angry. Never silly. It was all stuffed inside and no one would have described me that way, but that’s how I felt.  Mentally I didn’t cut anyone any slack.

During probably my fourth year of college, in the sorority, there was a girl I really didn’t know or particularly like, but during meeting she said she was getting her wisdom teeth pulled that week and could anyone go with her?  It was down at the university med center and her parents would pick her up after, but she had no one to actually do down there and sit with her while waiting to be called.  She was scared. Without even realizing what I was doing, I volunteered to go, even knowing I was skipping class to do so for someone who wasn’t even really a friend.  One of the best decisions I ever made.

I think when she asked, I realized a couple of things in contrast with my own wisdom tooth extraction experience.  When I had gone through this, it was with a highly reputable oral surgeon with lovely offices near our home.  My parents of course drove me there, waited during the procedure, drove me home, and doted on me as I recovered.  I was surrounded by love and comfort, as far as one can be while getting their teeth yanked.

This girl, this sorority sister, was having them done at Student Health down at the med center.  The world’s most impersonal building of neutral paint and scarred linoleum.  This told me she was under the cheap student insurance, and not her parents’ high-end insurance as I had been.  Her parents were picking her up, but not coming with her, not sitting in the waiting room.  So either they couldn’t come sit with her or didn’t care too.  I don’t begrudge at all that they may not have had great insurance or been able to get time off work, but this was all new to me.  Yes I was privileged, and by the grace of God I was learning that about myself, and hopefully before I made an ass out of myself (because privileged people who don’t know it can be real asses).

We met up and walk all the way down to south campus together (at least it was sort of downhill), then through miles of medical center corridors, and finally sat down to wait in the ugly waiting area.  Not even a waiting room; it just seemed like a large bulge in the hallway.  She was so obviously scared and nervous that I just started talking. 

I have no recollection of what I said. I had nothing planned.  But somehow I started making her laugh.  For a good twenty minutes I kept up rolling observations and comments and we both laughed together.  She was distracted.  She didn’t seem to be vibrating any more.  When they finally called her in, I gave her a hug and said a last few words and then went on my way.  Apparently all went well with her.  And when I next saw her, she profusely thanked me and said how much it meant to her that I sat with her and made her laugh.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but this changed my life. Never before in my life had I thought that I could make someone laugh, and that it would be appreciated. That I could comfort someone and make them feel better by joking and laughing. That we could sit and have fun with just laughter;  nothing serious or instructional.  No achievement necessary.  Just talking and laughing. It was a brand new discovery. 

I wasn’t changed at the time, but as I’ve gotten older, I have developed my somewhat inappropriate, elephant-in-the-room exposing, free-from-embarrassment laughing side.  My daughters are at times embarrassed by it.  They don’t like the off-color jokes; can you image? They tell me I laugh when I should be serious.  They get a little exasperated with the 12-year-old-boy humor.  But they also laugh with me.  I have had strangers come up to me after I’ve laughed too loud in public, to tell me that I have a great laugh.  I was recently at a gathering of friends and as a late comer came in through the front door, she said she knew she was in the right place when she heard me laughing.

A couple of years ago I read an article about a young woman whose dad had recently passed.  She had always been irritated with how he laughed too much or inappropriately.  And somehow during the funeral and grieving, as she went through his things or heard from friends, she realized that his laughter was an expression of joy.

Laughter is an expression of Joy.

I finally learned that about myself.  I am not effusive with words, and certainly not sentimental ones.  I am an introvert.  I feel awkward in groups and often don’t know what to say.  But when I relax and am with friends and family who I know and who know me and love me anyway, I just laugh; and I’m so glad that I do.